Defacto age of consent is 18

So it seems there is a lot of incredible levels of human stupidity on this forum. I’m going to help clear out some confusion.

“Law on a map says age of consent is 16,17, etc”.

Ok, but you must realize that adult authority figures were off limits, same goes for adult family members as incest is also illegal, so nearly every adult in the minors life are off limits, and as a minor, parents have rights to end the relationship, and most parents will not tolerate a 16 or 17 year old son or daughter going out with a 25 year old woman or man. So the defacto age of consent is 18 for 99% of 16-17 year olds.

You need to stop just looking at criminal law when determining age of consent. You also have to look at laws around the parents and their rights to split up a relationship between their minor children and another person. If you look at things in their entirety, the defacto age of consent is… 18.

Once again…

America != the rest of the World.


I hope you enjoy the fantasy world you live in. Parents can’t break up a relationship they don’t know about. And as I said earlier on another topic, EVERYONE LIES ABOUT SEX.


In Canada, the consent status of sexual acts with perceived figures of authority has one version that includes people between 16 and 18, and one for people over 18. For the former (clipped from Wikipedia) “the ‘position of trust under 18’ anti-exploitation rules were expanded in 2005 by Bill C-2, where a judge may choose to term a situation to be sexual exploitation based on the nature and circumstances of the relationship including the age of the younger party, age difference, evolution of the relationship (how it developed, e.g. quickly and secretly over the Internet), the control or influence over the young person (degree of control or influence the other person had over the young person).” For those over 18, consent is considered invalid when “(c) the accused induces the complainant to engage in the activity by abusing a position of trust, power or authority.” In practice, this means you’d better not request consent of a 22 year old, let’s say, if you’re their university professor, physician, and so on (There are also formal ethics codes in some professions). There has just been a great scandal about older male military officers leaning on their authority to obtain consent from younger female military personnel.

In the reality of young gay dating, a gay friend of mine who at the time was in his early to mid 20s seemed to be, somehow, phenomenally attractive to many of the gay boys on the internet and was constantly bombarded with hopeful messages from people from 16 on up. They clearly didn’t expect to have any authorities interfering in their ability to date whom they wanted, even though there was yet another Canadian law, the internet luring law, that could have been said to have been broken by anyone reciprocating their approaches. How many of these usually long-distance contacts led to an act needing legal consent (I’m talking in general now, not about my friend, who was only bemused by requests from anyone under 19) is anyone’s guess, but I have the strong impression that the de facto age of consent is the legal one, that is, 16.

I only found out via a bizarre historical sexual assault trial a few years ago that I and my fellow members of our university gay/lesbian club in the 70s could have been arrested for ‘gross indecency’ for any of our consensual sex acts, if the police had decided to make an issue. Not only did this never happen - none of us were even aware it could happen. I think the same happy oblivion probably holds sway in the internet dating of 16+ late teen people in Canada. I don’t know of a case of parents becoming upset with the doings of their 16 year old and having one of their somewhat older network members investigated by the law. It’s one of those things that obviously could happen, and perhaps it has, but the possibility hasn’t caused much of a ripple in day to day life.

That particular gay friend is now married and my window on the realities of young gay internet dating is now closed as of about 2 years ago.

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Again, that’s not the way law works. Legal driving age is 15 or 16 in many places. If the teen’s parents then disapprove of him or her using a certain vehicle, that doesn’t make a “defacto driving age” of 18.

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Um… yes it does? You have no clue what you are talking about.

No, that is not how law works. It’s not based upon the traditions and mores of individual families. Another example: If an Orthodox Jewish family disapproves of their child eating non-Kosher food, the local McDonald’s is not guilty of a crime for selling the kid a cheeseburger.


And you will be in prison for murder.


That’s because you are such a lovely person.