I Seriously Need Help

I am an aspiring comic writer, white male, age 28. I am REALLY questioning my sexuality, but am leaning towards asexual mostly. I was also professionally diagnosed with autism, too.

I have been mercilessly abused by my father and schooling since elementary. Middle school was where I received the worst of it, and I was forced to go to two different schools during this time. One supposedly specialized in teaching children with various disorders but later had to shut down, and the other that I had to switch to was one Catholic school over another. I feel, too, that a significant part of my childhood was denied from me because my father would spank me whenever I cried. I remember one incident clearly where I started crying at someone else’s house because I wasn’t allowed to spend the night with my older brother and his friend there. My father spanked me so hard that it felt like a punch, and when we got home he told me that from now if I cried no matter what the reason, I was getting spanked.

I’ve come out to my mother that I am asexual, just as proud to be queer as anyone else, but now I find myself questioning again. Plus, a different obstacle has been in my way for almost a decade, I think.

I want to come out as a furry, or rather a kemonoist, to people who will encourage me to pursue my dreams. What makes kemono more appealing to me than the regular furry is a little hard for me to explain.

My problem right now I believe is that my shipping interests include consensual male-on-male relationships. Both of the kemono characters in these relationships are usually thirteen years old. I also have my own set of kinks, too.

I would really like some help in understanding who I am, please.

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Preach, my man. As someone who used to work with autistic teens and young adults struggling to find themselves, I understand your predicament and have witnessed it before. You’re a brave soul and I want you to know that - as far as this poster is concerned - you’re among friends.

If you’re worried about backlash - don’t be. Just so long as you keep the outwardly pedophilic themes to a minimum, I doubt most people would notice or care. There are plenty of communities where such things aren’t of issue, though, so long as it’s blatantly advertised it is entirely fictional.
But if you’re looking to express that part of you in a creative way, try to publish the works from a pseudonym or alt-account before anything else.

As far as your sexuality is concerned, you’ll be okay. Just take things as they come and try not to look at things as blurred as they are in terms of labels. You’re you. And that’s perfectly okay.

I’m still very confused as to what constitutes as pedophilia.

I personally have no desire to be with anybody, but I feel that’s beside the point.

At least from what I interpret, are relationships between two consenting people of the same age, even if they are adolescents, not…normal?

You father is a subhuman piece of shit and I hope he gets prosecuted.

Pedophilia (mental illness) would be either exclusive or primary sexual interest in someone 0-13.999 years of age. I think that means someone who finds people 0-13.999 more or equally sexually attractive than say, 18-24 year olds. I don’t think not wanting to be with anyone automatically means you don’t have a sexual attraction. Being born with that illness doesn’t make you any less of a person.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with two minor adolescents dating, after all it’s extremely normal. It’s a different matter when for example, a 14 year old is taken advantage of someone 18 or older. Or a 15 year old boy with a 33 year old teacher.

A story about two adolescents dating is nothing unusual. I came across tons of such stories in middle school, not really all that interesting. If there is explicit sexual drawings that involve lewd depictions of nudity or straight up sexual intercourse, that is where the school draws the line. But a story with depictions of hugs, breakups, and kisses is generally quite common. Simply making the characters same sex shouldn’t be controversial today (thought when I was in middle school such choices would probably be very controversial).

I can relate on the part of abuse. The first step is to have an honest, down to earth conversation with someone willing to listen. Can you elaborate on your viewpoints?

Can you be more specific of which viewpoints, please?

Are you fearful of others dismissing you due to your interests? What do you see yourself as?

Well…

Being an asexual, the idea of putting my wang into anyone’s hole just grosses me out in general, lol. I have no self-hatred anymore after discovering the power of owning both my autism and sexuality even after having religion forced on me daily by going to that Catholic school. The previous school was by no means better because the kids were vulgar and the teachers were unforgiving. However, the problem persists of how others will perceive me, I’ll admit, if I choose to delve deeper into the idea of adolescents freely having relationships with each other.

I’ve read about both statutory rape and age of consent laws, and I find myself questioning those sorts of laws to myself. I find myself questioning the validity of the concerns of stepping into apparently forbidden territory.

To make matters worse, my older brother already thinks I have a child pornography fetish just because some of characters in some artbooks I have look a little Betty-Boopish.

That’s disparaging. Have you ever highlighted the difference, or would it fall on deaf ears?

It would fall on deaf ears definitely. My mother is also deathly worried about me being arrested, too. I live in Georgia, by the way.

I’m sorry, if I’m having a hard time following this. You are asexual, so you’re not pursuing materials for a sexual purpose, but some other purpose? Aesthetic? Or does the asexuality only crop up in some situations like doing things with other people? I may be confused here as I only ever hear of furries from a sexual perspective. Regular relationships purely without the sexual aspect?

In some cases, asexuality could be a sign of an underlying medical condition, but in others, it may function like a sexual orientation? Medical causes aside, individuals who have been abused have a higher rate of asexuality. I don’t think there is anything which can be done there. If you’re okay with it, that’s fine.

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I love being asexual, and you’re correct that it’s mainly aesthetic that interests me. My problem concerns statutory rape and age of consent since I live in Georgia when I decide to delve into sexuality. I do not lack a sex drive, by the way, as I have pumped it about four times daily at the maximum, but it’s since slowed down after picking up art.

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