16 years old. I really need help

It’s not just the case with law, it’s also about ethics. Chie is right in refusing to elaborate further about topics of pornography with anyone under the age of 18. It’s not just illegal regardless of the age of consent, but also simply inappropriate.

As for your concerns:

I don’t think you have to worry about your sexuality as of yet. You are still 16, you went through a difficult situation, you have to deal with a lot of complex emotions and evaluate everything you went through till you can achieve clarity of mind.

I was sexually exploited in my youth, so I understand how chaotic figuring out your sexuality is considering such experiences. I also worried that I might be a pedophile, because I often heard that “people who were sexually abused in their childhood tend to become pedophiles themselves”. It’s not really true, but when you feel anxiety, everything sounds reasonable. I guess one piece of advice I can give to you is to be wary, that there is a lot of myths and misconceptions about the topic, that might sound reasonable and logical, but aren’t really true. Researching these topics on my own is one thing that has helped me personally, so it might help you too.

Checking out DSM-5 is a good start. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Version 5 (the latest one) is the main and fundamental diagnostic tool published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA). that serves as the principal authority for psychiatric diagnoses.

On page 698, you have criteria for diagnosing so-called “Pedophilic disorder”. Pedophilic disorder isn’t exactly the same as pedophilia.

Pedophilia on its own is defined as is a “paraphilia characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children”. A regular person still might be somewhat attracted to minors, but as long as their primary interest is in adults, (that is, they find adults more attractive than minors), it’s not really considered pedophilia, because such individuals can and is naturally preferring to pursue relationships with adults, rather than minors. Put differently, they derive more satisfaction and fulfillment from dating adults, than minors, even though they are capable of recognizing sexual attractiveness in underage individuals.

You said you are capable of finding 11+ attractive, but as long as you have a bigger interest in adults too, you are not really a pedophile.

Otherwise, there is a question of whenever you are a pedophile, or whenever you also have a paraphilic disorder.

These are the criteria for the pedophilic disorder:

The criterion C is very relevant in your case. You are a 16-year-old, and you claimed to have an interest in 11+ individuals. That gives 5 years of difference. You are on the border, but as you can see, the psychologists in APA did decide that people in situations like yours, shouldn’t be really considered as having a pedophilic disorder, because “of the difficulty during adolescent development in differentiating it from an age-appropriate sexual interest in peers or from sexual curiousity”:

Your interest is not really abnormal considering your age, and you really have to still develop in order to really be sure if that interest is stable, or whenever it will change.

So you really have no need to worry. Regardless of whenever you are a pedophile or not, what really matters is whenever you are a good person or a bad one.

And seeing your initial post it’s clear to me that your worries stem from your empathy and understanding of why sexual exploitation of minors is harmful and unfair to the child. So it’s easy for me to conclude that you are a good person and that you will not commit any criminal activity that would involve a child. Simply because you are just like the rest of society, and you prioritize the wellbeing of others over personal temporary pleasure.

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wtf is your problem. I am in therapy you dickhead. I came here because I worried that I myself may be at risk of being a pedophile/hebephile and this is a fucking support group to prevent people like me from causing harm to ourselves or others. I can’t just “leave the fucking internet behind” as you put it. And yeah, DavidKlng is obviously not my fucking name. I didn’t have a bad expierence with pedophiles. I had a bad expierence with child abusers. People like you make me wanna fucking hurt somebody. Idk if its myself or somebody else but I’m so tired of you pieces of shit.


Pay him no mind… I’m trying to get him banned from the forum.


what is his fucking problem though.

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Honestly i don’t know what is wrong with him he regularly posts incomprehensible text blocks.


He’s a pro-contact weirdo who’s been on here, posting his weird ‘poetry’ while also trying to undermine Prostasia and its community.


Why hasn’t he been banned yet? @terminus


Just ignore the assholes, @davidklng. Let me say as a possible fellow traveler, you may not be a hebephile. Most people are attracted to others their age. If you were attracted to prepubescents at 16, then you could be a pedophile. Since you have an interest in teens similar to your own age, I suggest waiting a while before being certain. I didn’t realize my hebephilia until at 19, I was attracted to a very pubescent 12 yo. Since you are a minor and there are recommendations for dealing with these feelings that are considered acceptable for 18 and up, I think for now, you should just work with your therapist. And it is not the end of the world. I have made it to 65 controlling these feelings. It can be done. When you are older, we can discuss some coping mechanisms. Hang in there, baby.


Not really, it’s just the Prostasia Forum, which isn’t primarily for MAPs and deals with a range of topics. You might be confusing this forum with MAP Support Club, as I know some other people have. MSC is much better equipped for support and you can chat to real experts from Stop It Now there. So, you’re welcome to post here but this isn’t the best place to come seeking mental health support.


Hey David, I been in a very, very similar situation as you (grooming ring) and I want to say, yo are N O T H I N G like those people,

You aren’t “messed up”, not the way you think at least. You are messed up because you think you are going to be like them, and that you think you will abuse a child

Its distortion, you are wrong.

I want you to hear this from someone whos an adult now, who was a lot like you as a kid. At your age I was just out of the funk that was my grooming, and around this time I unlocked memories of CSA at an earlier age

No matter what people say, you DON’T have to kill yourself, you DON’T have to harm a child, you CAN have a good, heathy sexuality with adult consenting partners all your life

The very fact you can identify abuse, and know its wrong is a good enough sign of that, and your life will get much better as you grow

I will say, the social pressure can be unbearable, and that could hurt you. Know there is always support

I will say one last thing, don’t use CSEM, learn basic computer protection, at your age if your parents check it could really hurt you. You don’t have to worry too much eventually, but while you still are dependent on your family I would suggest trying your best to keep it hidden, it can cause a lot of stress if they know