How do I find counseling?

I’ll keep this brief. I was raised by a pedophile and it fucked up my sexuality, and maybe even my gender identity. But I also need help grieving his death. It’s a complicated issue. The only counseling services I know about are OpenPath Therapy and Better Help. But I can’t find anyone on there who I trust would be equipped to help me and my complicated situation. I am afraid to come out as a MAP to a large majority of counselors, even though I need the help. (I am not at risk of harming myself or others. It’s just that my life sucks and I need to process all this)
I live in Washington State. How do I find counseling for something like this?

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There’s a number of groups and organizations dedicated to connecting MAPs with safe therapists or providing treatment programs. Several of those are listed here. Since you’re based in the US I would recommend looking at ASAP (which is listed under the worldwide section) and B4U-ACT (which is listed under the United States section). Please feel free to reply if you have questions or need additional resources


Do you mean that you were sexually abused by this individual? Or do you mean you were simply raised by a guardian who you knew was a pedophile?

This is also something that’s important here.
Just because someone’s pedophilic doesn’t mean that they’re an abuser.

But I sincerely do hope you’ve managed to get the counseling you need.