I was repeatedly raped by my cousin when I was 11 years old. He got away with it because nobody took it seriously. I was molested by many people growing up so I think the human body is absolutely repulsive. Dolls are okay because they are not alive
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Your feelings are normal and valid.
People who have experienced sexual abuse sometimes feel the same way you do. and some people react differently. from what ive read there are a wide variety of reactions to those types of experiences.
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Hm, not the human body in general, but I do have a pretty strong aversion to other people’s:
- bodily fluids (e.g. saliva; when people pass around a cigarette or bottle of alcohol, or certain cultures using chopsticks to eat from the same dish, I can’t participate without getting the heebie-jeebies) as well as
- breath (I have ‘misophonia’-like symptoms, but I feel weird calling it misophonia since I’m not just repulsed by the sound of people coughing, yawning, etc but also the sight and feel; I have to put on a mask to make myself feel better if I see someone yawning next to me even if they’re not making any noise, and I can’t lie next to another person without being very uncomfortable hearing them breathe and feeling their breath on me)
I can’t say 100% for certain, but I strongly suspect it’s connected to my experience with csa
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Your feelings are understandable and relatable. I still feel like that sometimes, too. Not very strongly, but it hasn’t completely disappeared.