I was repeatedly raped by my cousin when I was 11 years old. He got away with it because nobody took it seriously. I was molested by many people growing up so I think the human body is absolutely repulsive. Dolls are okay because they are not alive
Your feelings are normal and valid.
People who have experienced sexual abuse sometimes feel the same way you do. and some people react differently. from what ive read there are a wide variety of reactions to those types of experiences.
Hm, not the human body in general, but I do have a pretty strong aversion to other people’s:
- bodily fluids (e.g. saliva; when people pass around a cigarette or bottle of alcohol, or certain cultures using chopsticks to eat from the same dish, I can’t participate without getting the heebie-jeebies) as well as
- breath (I have ‘misophonia’-like symptoms, but I feel weird calling it misophonia since I’m not just repulsed by the sound of people coughing, yawning, etc but also the sight and feel; I have to put on a mask to make myself feel better if I see someone yawning next to me even if they’re not making any noise, and I can’t lie next to another person without being very uncomfortable hearing them breathe and feeling their breath on me)
I can’t say 100% for certain, but I strongly suspect it’s connected to my experience with csa