I was repeatedly raped by my cousin when I was 11 years old. He got away with it because nobody took it seriously. I was molested by many people growing up so I think the human body is absolutely repulsive. Dolls are okay because they are not alive
Your feelings are normal and valid.
People who have experienced sexual abuse sometimes feel the same way you do. and some people react differently. from what ive read there are a wide variety of reactions to those types of experiences.