I don’t know yet whether there is a more appropriate place in this community for this, but at least this is not the worst place. I have been released from prison for 12 years for csam. I wish I could change what I am into, but I know I can change my actions. I feel that because I am not a non offender that I kind of being a negative association to an already stigmatized group. That said I need help to not seek out illegal materials and hope this forum may be something I can use until I am approved for the map support group.
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Well, I have found this source of a program that helps people quite CSAM.
Maybe it will be good for you. I believe that you can be redeemed as you aren’t a chomo, so yeah be free and maybe you can stay away from CSAM. I would personally stick for fictional content if I was you.
Thank you. But just wondering what if someone did commit a hands on offense in the past, it seems like you may be implying that such individuals are beyond redemption. I met many people who in prison who did act on their desires. Some of them did learn from punishment and genuinely want to change. And some either could or would not.
Thank you also for the link. I am engaging with it now.
You’re in such a position as to be a complicated answer. Whether you’ve physically harmed someone or not, the laws sees it as the same thing. I mean they act as if you DID hurt someone and the penalty is the same. You harmed no one, yet they act as if you did! CSAM is never any good. People that produce it are definitely monsters. Seeing something that already exists is water over the dam. No one should seek it out, yet people still do terrible things and still produce it. Human and child sex trafficking has yet to be met head-on and dealt with appropriately.
Some laws go as far as to punish young teens for sexting one another, treating them as if their producers of CSAM. Just taking a picture of themselves and having it on their device is enough cause for authorities to charge them with a crime. Doing just as much emotional damage as an abuser.
Institutionalized “programs” only give you generalities and don’t really address specific things that could be factors in your experiences. It’s difficult to open up to a therapist much less anyone, lest they report you. Even if you’ve harmed no one. The thought police in action. This is a tough spot to be in. But welcome to a forum that may direct you in a way to be beneficial.
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I’m sorry. 12 years is a long time. If you are having problems keeping away from material, you may find a 12-step programme like SAA helpful. There is no judgement, just a bunch pf people helping each other. I’m guessing you’re in the USA but they have meetings all over the world, online as well as in person. See saa-recovery.org or saauk.info .
All the best.
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