I’m new to this forum and not many spaces supports anonymously sharing your previous mental health experiences (both good and bad) so I’m creating this topic because I think that anonymously sharing your experiences in a relevant forum is good for mental health and is not done enough tbh, and I don’t like mandatory reporting laws honestly (or at least all of the time because I think that mandatory reporting laws are overdone and at least sometimes harmful).
I personally have mixed mental health experiences both in the past and present. Some of course are good such as nice tasting food, talking to people, watching shows, working although some experiences are bad like previous sexual abuse by strangers, still having to live with my covertly sexually abusive grandfather, dealing with bad drivers, society normalising actual workplace verbal abuse and shaming both online and offline, ect.
The point of this topic is just to let people disclose their current and/or previous mental health experiences that are either good and/or bad without mandatory reporting or judgement while opposing bad experiences and supporting good experiences such as by minimising bad experiences happening and maximising good experiences happening as the good experiences are completely superior to the be bad experiences.
Please feel free to share if you want to although if not that is okay too.
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Well, I’ve had several suicidal incidents over the last decade or so. Driven in part by my paraphilias. This came to a head when I confessed I’m a pedophile to my high school school counselor. She contacted the special needs teacher, who contacted the principal, who contacted my mother. She immediately took me out of school and drove me to my therapist. I admitted that I find little girls “cute” in a way I shouldn’t. I was given a week in nearby Poplar Springs. In the youth wing cuz I myself was a minor at the time (16ish). Met other kids there dealing with stuff. Little kids who were sexually abused, other pedophilic teens, etc. Got into a couple fights with the angrier, nastier kids.
I wasn’t able to return to school right away. In fact, I wasn’t allowed near any schools in my town. Which sucks cuz A. I live right next to an elementary school, and B. I had to pick up my little sister from said school. So for the rest of her time there, I had to wait at the edge of school property for her to come to me.
Meanwhile, I was sent to this place up in Richmond for special kids. Northstar Academy. A makeshift place cobbled out of old train cars attached to what was formerly a restaurant. An interesting place, they do good work. I wasn’t particularly happy there (then again, I’m not very happy in general). But I was allowed to return to my actual high school for my last year. Graduated with an advanced diploma, lotta good that’s done me…
I still hate myself. Still wanna die. Still believe that I’m worthless at best, degenerate at worst. I don’t think I’ll ever amount to much. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world. I almost would rather be stuck in some warzone or famine somewhere. At least then I’d feel like my sadness and frustration were justified…
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Consider it like this. “The fact that my enemies want me dead also increases my desire to live because I know that my existence alone causes you this much distress.” You might be a better person than me in that way, but I’m petty and vindictive enough to enjoy the pain and suffering of my enemies. The pain and suffering that apparently exist simply because I’m alive. Remember. You don’t need to feel empathy for everyone. I find that only few people deserve mine.
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