30+ years of age adults dating 18 year olds

There is a huge discourse online about how dating 18 year olds as you approach or have reached your 30s is not only “inappropriate” but “predatory”, “gross”, and they justify this by saying that young adults are not really adults but teens. They cite research which says that brains are not fully developed until they reach the age of 25. While I don’t doubt this research, all of those opinions about dating 18 year olds being wrong are stupid. First of all, yeah, 18 year olds can be immature, but they can consent. Second, the older person is not grooming the 18 year old. That’s just not possible with an adult. Again, 18 year olds can be immature, but they can certainly defend themselves and can tell bad intentions from the most part.

I strongly suspect this opinion is mostly spotted by older women who don’t want men their age going for younger women as they see them as competition. This may sound offensive but I think it’s true.

What are your thoughts on this encroachment of pedo hysteria towards adults?


As it turns out, this is a scientific myth. See here: Brain development: The myth the brain "matures" when you're 25.

While, obviously, adults are able to consent, adult grooming IS a thing: Signs of Grooming in Adults - What to Watch Out For - Ann Craft Trust

A lot of people find young adults more attractive than older adults. People tend to become less attractive as they age. See here: The effect of aging on facial attractiveness: An empirical and computational investigation - ScienceDirect


As I always say, if the rabble hate you but can do nothing legal against you, it means that you win.


I kind of already made a topic here on the forum asking about this subject based on Leonardo DiCaprio’s case, there were very interesting and constructive responses on the subject. If you want to check out:
What do we think about Leonardo DiCaprio’s relationship with a 19 year old and about couples with large age gaps in general (some of them involving “barely legal” teenagers)?


I’m kind of skeptical that the harm of CSA comes from maturity though; from my experience it’s more to do with power dynamics. Otherwise it would also be harmful for a pair of 9-year-olds to play doctor, or for a kid to look at porn on the Internet, but I don’t believe that.

From that perspective I … kind of agree that it’s predatory for a 30+ year old to date an 18 year old? Like, if 17 dating 30 is predatory, then it’s not like a magical maturity switch turns on when the younger partner turns 18.

I’ve always thought the ‘half your age plus 7’ rule made more sense then a sudden age-of-consent cutoff rule, but I guess people hate algebra too much XD

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I actually had a conversation on IRC about this the other day.

(Very) Abridged:

{+[redacted]} Jigsy: I used to play doc with my cousins when I was younger
{Jigsy} Same.
{+[redacted]} But it’s still different to porn I’d say
{Jigsy} Yeah, I had no idea what porn was at say… six years old.
{Jigsy} Still liked playing doctor, though.
{+[redacted]} Playing doctor is good memories
{Jigsy} Yeah. This is where the whole “it’s trumatic(!)” argument just falls apart.
{Jigsy} Just admit you hate sex, boomers.
{Jigsy} I didn’t consider playing doctor trumatic.
{Jigsy} It was fun. :3
{Jigsy} And I was six.


Unfortunately, it’s not just boomers nowadays who are moral-panicking. Everyone seems to want to paladin-LARP nowadays. See all the instant FBI “jokes” whenever anyone mentions loli… Though, that might be hypocritical coming from me, given that I LARP as a paladin… slayer.


Meanwhile Germany defending their view on teen relationships in the EU once again:

The age of sexual consent varies in the member states. In Germany, young people aged 14 and over are considered to be of sufficient age to give their consent to certain acts and content. Content or conduct that is not punishable under national law must be excluded from the scope of the draft regulation.

Source: Proposal for a Regulation of the European Parliament and of the Council laying down rules on preventing and combating the sexual abuse of children (CSA-VO) - Statement of the German Federal Government on the draft CSA-VO, April 3rd, 2023

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