New forum user here

Hello,

I’m a new user on the forum and I thought it’d be nice to introduce myself and explain a bit why I’m here.

First off, I’m 22 and I live in Canada. I’m sexually attracted to adult women (real and anime), but I have also developed an interest in lolicon over the years. While I have looked at some lolicon in the past, I know that it’s criminalized in Canada, so I had to find an alternative. Fortunately, I found something that works for me: Roblox Rule 34, which I can easily find on Reddit and Discord.

A few years ago, I discovered VirPed. For me, this organization was strange. For most of my life, all that I’ve known of pedophilia was that it was a “disorder” that, if left unchecked, could make a person succumb to their desires and want to molest minors. However, I learned that VirPed was not only against adult-child sex, unlike other pedo organizations like NAMBLA, but that they were trying to reduce stigma surrounding pedophiles and help them get treatment. Knowing that, it actually made me appreciate VirPed. While I did consider joining them at one point, I ultimately didn’t because I don’t have a sexual interest in children and didn’t see any other reason why I would’ve needed to join (well, there is the safety and protection of children, but I wasn’t sure if it was the right organization for that).

So while VirPed was of little interest to me, the subject of pedophilia didn’t go away from my mind. I think a part of me deep down was wondering whether liking lolicon made me a pedophile. I was afraid of what might happen if I told anyone about it.

As for Roblox Rule 34, I’ve only talked about it with one person online. The person stated that what I was searching for (and looking at) was “child porn hentai” and that I should be arrested for it. When I said that most Roblox characters don’t even look like humans (and that I play Roblox), the person called me a “predator” and accused me of wanting to “groom kids”. I never brought up lolicon during that conversation.

I didn’t want to believe that I was hurting anyone, especially minors, but what was I to do when most people that I’ve interacted with were anti-pedo and anti-lolicon? I decided that I needed to better understand pedophilia and find out whether or not I was one.

It might seem easy to just search Wikipedia, or another site like RationalWiki, but searching for something like pedophilia wasn’t easy to me. I had to let go of some previously held beliefs and be confronted with some things that I wasn’t entirely convinced about. I did get some useful information from Wikipedia and RationalWiki, but I know that those sites can have innacurate (or even biaised) information.

While browsing Reddit, I stumbled upon a subreddit called r/PedoLogic, a hivemind where users call out pedophiles. While many users there believe that liking lolicon does make you a pedophile, I have seen some users call BS on that and saying that anti-lolis were just in denial. One thread in particular mentioned Prostasia and I thought it would be a good idea to see whether this organization was like VirPed… Or like NAMBLA.

I found Prostasia a few weeks ago and I realized from reading the articles on the site that it was exactly what I was looking for. The articles gave me a lot of valuable information on pedophilia and lolicon. I browsed (or should I say lurked) the forum for a couple of weeks just to get an idea as to what users talk about here. I think I’ve learned and am confident enough to actually begin posting on the forum.

I can’t say that I have anything to add that hasn’t been already said on the forum. However, if you have any questions about Canada, I might be able to answer them (you can PM me if you want, I don’t mind).

Yeah, that’s about it. Thanks for letting me join!

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We’re glad to have you here! I know we have a lot of members who are interested in lolicon and other similar content, many without any attraction to real children, so hopefully you’ll be able to find some level of community here.

Based on my experiences in VirPed and other support spaces, people with an interest in fictional minors generally aren’t considered pedophiles or MAPs by default, though some, mainly those who are also attracted to real children, have started using the label “fictoMAP,” so just know that’s a thing in case it has any use for you.

Wikipedia and RationalWiki actually have surprisingly accurate information about pedophilia (with the biggest exception being Wikipedia’s refusal to acknowledge the difference between pedophilia and pedophilic disorder). If you’re still looking for more reliable sources on the topic, I maintain a website with mental health resources for MAPs that also has a Research Summary. I would also recommend checking out B4U-ACT’s Summary of MAP Research.

Let me know if you have any questions, and I look forward to seeing you around!

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Also yay Reddit likes my article

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I haven’t heard of “ficto-MAP” before, although it seems people have also used “kodocon” as an umbrella term (kind of like how MAP is meant to be an umbrella term).

I’d like to mention that your article “Spotting misinformation about pedophilia” (and other articles that were linked there) helped me with understanding things related to pedophilia (for instance, that there is a difference between “pedophile” and “pedophilic disorder” and that MAP is an umbrella term), so it was really useful to me.

I don’t think I would necessarily call myself a ficto-MAP as I prefer adult women, but it’s good to know that such a term exists.

Thank you for your kind words and for providing those links, I’ll check them out later!

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Hi Cole! Welcome to the forum! :blush:

Personally, I don’t think enjoying loli automatically makes you a MAP however I do understand the logic of the people who disagree with me on that. If there was a male who enjoyed looking at Yaoi Hentai then I would assume that they were gay, even though they don’t look exactly like real humans.

However if you’re not attracted to the real human equivalent then it may be more appropriate to identify as a Lolicon or FictoMAP instead lol :smiley:

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However if you’re not attracted to the real human equivalent then it may be more appropriate to identify as a Lolicon or FictoMAP instead lol :smiley:

Good point. I was under the assumption that I had to be considered either straight or a lolicon. I didn’t realize that I could be considered both.

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Welcome, AgentColeBowl. I’ve enjoyed reading how you made your way here.

Shortly before the death of Queen Elizabeth II, there was talk of Canada getting out from under the monarchy. I’m not sure where the conversation has gone since. I hear it’s controversial. How do you feel about it?

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Well, I don’t think it has much to do on this forum, but since you asked…

To put it simply, I hate the British Monarchy. The Canadian Government should cuts all ties with the British Monarchy, but not without reason.

Here’s an article published in September that shows the percentage of Canadians that are okay (or not) with the monarchy: Canadians Conflicted on Future Role of Monarchy as Half (54%) Say Canada Should End Ties to Monarchy

According to the article (the number shown is the percentage of Canadians):

82% of Canadians believe Queen Elizabeth II did a good job in her role as monarch

56% agree (10% strongly / 46% somewhat) that they are confident that King Charles III will do a good job

54% agree (20% strongly / 33% somewhat) that now that Queen Elizabeth II’s reign has ended, Canada should end its formal ties to the British monarchy

Arguments for Keeping the Monarchy in Canada

Canadians see some valid arguments for keeping the monarchy in Canada:

  • A majority (55%) agrees (17% strongly / 38% somewhat) that the constitutional monarchy helps to define Canadian identity and should continue to be our form of government, unchanged from 2021. However, when this question was first asked in 2002, 62% were in agreement.
  • Six in ten (60%) agree (16% / 44% somewhat) that the Prince and Princess of Wales, William and Catherine, will help keep the monarchy relevant to Canadians, but this is down 7 points since 2016.
  • Only 43% agree (13% strongly / 30% somewhat) that the monarchy has too much of a role in Canadian affairs, leaving 57% who disagree.
  • Six in ten (60%) agree (14% strongly / 46% somewhat) that Canada’s relationship with the monarchy is useful because it helps to keep us different from the United States.
  • Six in ten (61%) agree (19% strongly / 42% somewhat) that traditions like Canada’s relationship with the monarchy are important to our heritage and help to make Canada and Canadians who we are.

Arguments for Abolishing the Monarchy in Canada

Conversely, many agree with arguments in support of severing ties with the British Crown:

  • Six in ten (63%) agree (27% strongly / 36% somewhat) that the King and Royal family should not have any formal role in Canadian society as the royals are simply celebrities and nothing more, down 3 points since 2021.
  • Only 47% agree (9% strongly / 38% somewhat) that King Charles III and Camilla, the Queen Consort, will help keep the monarchy relevant to Canadians, leaving 53% who disagree.
  • A majority (57%) agrees (21% strongly / 36% somewhat) that the monarchy is too linked to the history of colonialism and slavery to have a place in today’s Canadian society.
  • A similar proportion (57%) agrees (17% strongly / 39% somewhat) that Canada is not truly an independent nation if it continues to support the monarchy.

I agree with those that want to abolish the monarchy in Canada, but there are more reasons which the article doesn’t mention.

There’s a subreddit called r/AbolishTheMonarchy, which is about advocating for the abolishment of monarchies (although at least 90% of the subreddit is about the British Monarchy). They explain a bit here why they take this stance.

They also document the British Monarchy extensively. Here is a list of allegations and scandals regarding members of the Royal Family. While you’re at it, you might as well check out this list of allegations and scandals regarding King Charles III.

I don’t care that much about politics, but the abolishment of the monarchy in Canada would put a smile on my face. We don’t need that in a democracy.

Also check out the Wikipedia article on the Monarchy of Canada, as well as the Wikipedia article on Debate on the monarchy in Canada.

I hope that this information was useful!

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So, it’s been about two weeks since I first joined the forum. If I’m going to continue engaging with others here, I feel like there’s something that I should mention, something that I have to confess.

Most of what I said in this thread about myself is true.

I also talked a bit about myself in the following thread (there’s some additional stuff that I mentioned there that I won’t in this thread): Sharing my own story about fiction - #2 by AgentColeBowl

However, there is one thing that I wasn’t honest about. Or, at least, I didn’t want to believe it.

There’s no other way around this. I am a NOMAP. This is something that I had to come to terms with and accept very recently.

I don’t really know how to explain it, because I don’t fully understand it myself, but I seem to be attracted to girls and women between the ages of 4-40.

Part of the reason why I didn’t reveal it sooner was because the last forum that I joined, someone found out who I was (although, that was my fault, because I gave away information that would identify me). That was a long time ago though, so it doesn’t really matter anymore. But, I am still a bit paranoid about it.

Another reason was because of self-loathing. I didn’t want to believe that I was a MAP because I knew that I was attracted to adult women. To be attracted to children seemed absurd to me. All my life people around me, as well as on the Internet, have been telling me MAPs are horrible people and deserve to be locked up or to die. I didn’t want to confront myself. But, deep down, I knew what I was and I hated myself for it.

There were times where I would fantasize about having sex with children. The local newspaper publishes a lot of stories that are pretty awful. There have been times where I would fantasize after reading some stories regarding CSA (although, I did feel sorry for the victims). I would try to suppress those thoughts, but while I did usually end up forgetting whatever I read after a day or so, there is one particular story involving CSA that I haven’t forgotten about yet. I’m not gonna go over it though.

I don’t know when this first started. While I knew I was attracted to adult women for a long time, I can’t say for sure when I started being attracted to children.

When I was young, I was curious (you might even say fascinated) with nudity. I don’t remember when it started (although, it might have started when I was around 8), or even how it started, but I would often fantasize about nude female (adult and child) cartoon characters during the night. Nothing sexual, just nude.

I didn’t know what sex was exactly. I did have several books on the human body (for kids) though. One of them showed a man and a woman (both drawings) nude and having sex. The man was on top of the woman. I thought “So that’s what sex is? A nude man on top of a nude woman? That doesn’t seem so bad.” I didn’t realize until years later that there were not only different sex positions, but that it involved some physical activity to it.

I don’t know, I might be too lazy for sex or something (note: I never had a sex partner and was never in a relationship with anyone). I get tired even after masturbating.

I must also confess that I started viewing porn at age 14 and didn’t start masturbating until I was 16 (although, if I had understood sex, as well as myself, better, I would have probably started masturbating before then).

I apologize for not having told the truth regarding my sexual interests with children. I still maintain, however, that it’s possible for someone to only be interested in fictional characters, while someone else could be attracted only to real people. I also maintain that I never offended (and have never had the desire to offend) against minors. I am able to control my urges.

It’s also why I never joined VirPed, I know that I’m not a threat to minors and I’m not distressed about my sexual interests in children.

That’s all that I feel comfortable sharing right now.

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It’s good that you felt comfortable sharing this. I know doing so can be really frightening, especially if you’ve never told anyone before. I did want to mention something.

These seem contradictory to me. Self-hatred is one of the most common forms of distress MAPs experience, and it’s an extremely common reason for a MAP to seek support. The timeline wasn’t clear from your post, but if you’re still struggling with self-hatred (and some of your wording makes me think it’s likely you may be), I would definitely suggest looking into a support group.

VirPed is one option, and it’s definitely helpful for MAPs who feel uncomfortable in a space that includes minors or for those who prefer a more forum-based platform. Another good option is MAP Support Club (which I’ve personally found to be particularly useful for MAPs who aren’t necessarily struggling with a ton of mental health issues, but just want a safe space where they can be themselves and feel connected to other MAPs. I have more information about both on my website (MAP Resources), and as a member of both, I’m happy to answer questions about either.

All that being said, support doesn’t work well when it’s forced. I think it could benefit you in terms of mental health, but the decision is entirely yours and you don’t owe anyone an explanation.

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Yeah, it is a bit contradictory. I did hate myself a lot, but I didn’t think I needed support because I didn’t consider myself at risk of offending. Self-hatred wasn’t something that I considered seeking support for.

Although…

The timeline wasn’t clear from your post, but if you’re still struggling with self-hatred (and some of your wording makes me think it’s likely you may be), I would definitely suggest looking into a support group.

I didn’t want to go over details, but one thing is for sure, I still have some self-hatred. There were times where I would have suicidal thoughts, but they would usually go away, so I thought “maybe this isn’t a big deal”.

Prostasia seemed like a better option for me over VirPed because I was looking for information on MAPs rather than support, but… Maybe I do need support?

I think I need some time to think about this.

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I think what Elliot means to say is that you would benefit a lot just by joining the MAP Community rather than joining specifically to seek support/help. It’s really fun and has helped a lot :blush:

I also recommend checking out MAP Resources but feel free to dm me (or Elliot I’m sure he won’t mind :3) if you want to learn more about the community :gift_heart:

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Yeah that. I spend way too much time on my mental-health focused website and now I’m bad at talking about other things lol

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I feel you. I myself am a 23yo (will be 24 in January) American. I’ve given pieces of my background here and there, but yeah, I’m in a similar boat (well, maybe more extreme) to you. Know that you ain’t alone. I started looking at porn and masturbating since I was only 9, and even then I recall wanting to perform oral sex since I was only 5. I’ve openly inquired on this forum wether my premature birth and/or Asperger’s diagnosis could be responsible for this early sexual awakening, but I guess it’s the sorta thing that just… happens sometimes. Anyways, we’re glad to have you here, and hope we can help you out if you need it.

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If we knew what caused any of us to have these undesirable desires, maybe a fix could be found. Right now, all we can do is keep our patty paws, and any other appendages, off of children. Much as I hate to quote Nancy Reagan, just say no.

As for help controlling our urges, we have stories, artwork, sex toys and dolls, as well as each other and Prostasia. All I can say is:

A little blast from the past. Unlike Giacobbe and many others, I’ve been doing this for half a century now.

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I wouldn’t view that as a positive outcome, even for the people who want a “cure.” It would give bigots a way to justify their decades of abuse, harassment, and even violence targeted at MAPs and send the message that society shouldn’t change to support marginalized groups, but rather make it socially acceptable to force societal norms on anyone who is different.

In some countries (and probably even some US states based on recent events), any successful efforts to change someone’s sexual orientation would quickly be forced on the LGBTQ community, either through legislation or by social pressure. It would also deny self-hating MAPs the opportunity to ever accept themselves as a MAP and understand that their attractions don’t make them evil or dangerous.

I think this post puts it best

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Okay, “fix” is a bad choice. 50 years ago, almost no one would admit to being gay or lesbian. Transgender, non-binary, bisexual, polyamorous, etc. were unheard of. It was still illegal in many places. Celebrities would deny rumors vehemently. They didn’t choose their orientation either. They just wanted acceptance, so they could enjoy their orientations in peace. Unlike the rest of the LGBTQIA+, we can’t directly satisfy our wants ever. We will probably never be accepted, at least not in my lifetime.

We need to find ways to control our choices so as to not harm children. A Star Trek holodeck would nice. :wink: Until then, we help each other and prevent harm.

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There are two ways that I view a “cure” for pedophilia.

On one hand, it would mean I wouldn’t have to be afraid that someone might find out that I’m sexually attracted to children. I might no longer have so much guilt or self-hatred. Maybe I would feel better about myself.

On the other hand, part of the reason why I began searching for information on MAPs on the Internet was because of my attraction to children. I wanted to know more about pedophilia. It’s what eventually lead me to Prostasia. Had I not been a MAP, I might’ve still been an anti-pedo and would’ve probably believed a lot of false things that get said about Prostasia.

Either way, I think it’s wishful thinking that such a cure would even be possible anytime soon.

Many MAPs don’t want minors to be harmed and are able to control themselves. Hatred and stigma don’t work, support and acceptance would be better. A cure might not even be necessary in that case.

I’m not confident that things will change for the better anytime soon though.

But, who knows?

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I agree that, for the safety of ALL people (not just MAPs), we have a moral obligation to instead RESIST conversion treatments! If we discovered a way to simply… remove or exchange pieces of one’s personality from the brain, it would open a horrifying can of worms. What else could be altered in this fashion? Your memories? Your morals? Your politics? It’s dystopian! Even if every single MAP on Earth was “dangerous” in some way (which most of them really aren’t), it would be far more dangerous to explore what amounts to mind control techniques. To simply remove pieces of your mind and alter you into a “model citizen”. It’s a sickening thought…

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There’s an old story. A thief was due to be hanged. He announced that he could teach a horse to sing. The king heard of this and said, “You have one year to teach my favorite horse to sing.” So he began singing to the horse. The other prisoners jeered him. He said, “A lot can happen in a year. The horse may die, the king may die, I may die or perhaps the horse will learn to sing.”

Here’s hoping for horse opera. :rofl:

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