Responding to Anti-Sexdoll Myths

Sex positivity
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The sex doll community is a marginalized population. Anti-sexdoll writers found they can malign this community without repercussion, and in turn receive valuable click-bait traffic to their websites. Don’t let them monopolize the discussion! The world needs to see us respond to the lies coming from the anti-sexdoll media.

  • Remember this issue is about how people masturbate in private. The anti-sexdoll media tries to confuse the issue by including irrelevant topics with their stories. Don’t let them get away with that. Call them out. We have a right to privacy regarding what we do with our bodies. Nobody can violate our body autonomy.
  • The goal is to help the audience understand our point of view, not to change the mind of the writer. The writer probably doesn’t care because the article is already receiving clicks and comments, and that’s all they really wanted.
  • I like to include a picture with the response because a beautiful sex doll attracts attention.

Below you will find a list of common sex doll myths you will encounter in news articles. Not all articles are explicitly anti-sexdoll, but they still include some of these myths. After each myth is a fact, or facts you can choose from to respond, or help you create your own. I recommend only responding to one myth with one fact at a time. Post your response and see if anyone else responds positively or negatively. Bookmark the article or post so you can return to it later. Then either reply to the comments or post a new response to a different myth from the article.

Myths and Facts

Myth: Sex dolls mean that men will treat women like objects.

Fact: Actually, men treat these objects like women. We imagine personalities and relationships with our dolls. In addition, we bathe them, style their hair, do their makeup, buy them cute clothes, shoes, and accessories, and much more.
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Myth: There is something wrong or inadequate about sex doll owners.

Fact: Don’t try to marginalize an already vulnerable group. Sex doll owners aren’t all the same. We come from all backgrounds, races, genders, socio-economic levels, religions, physical abilities, appearances, and 18+ ages. Even our interests in sex dolls vary from person to person.
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Myth: Sex doll owners are mostly men.

Fact: Women are an underrepresented segment of the sex doll community. Sex tech writers should do more to promote women sex doll entrepreneurs like they do with other aspects of sex tech.
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Myth: Child-like sex dolls will make people molest real children sometime in the future.

Fact: There are no facts to support this. This is the definition of prejudice, literally pre-judging someone for a crime you think they will commit sometime, somewhere in the future.
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Myth: Sex dolls are rape culture.

Fact: Sex doll owners have relationship fantasies, not rape fantasies. We shower our dolls with care and adoration.
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Myth: Any dystopian forecast about sex dolls destroying society someday.

Fact 1: Absolutely false. Our sex doll community is vulnerable, not society in general. Don’t try to push us further into the closet, we already have lawmakers and anti-doll stigma to deal with.

Fact 2: Authors or “experts” will often claim they can tell the future. They can’t. WE are actually more qualified to predict events because we ARE the sex doll community. We are the REAL experts, not the people on the outside. So now I’ll make my own forecast: sex dolls will NOT destroy society. The end.

Fact 3: Actually, WE are actually more qualified to predict events because we ARE the sex doll community, not the so-called “experts” on the outside. It’s likely the future will have more variety of sexual choices, not fewer.
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Myth: Sex dolls are like that scene in [name of movie or show].

Fact: Referencing scenes from fictional stories is not the correct way to cover the topic of the real sex doll community.
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Myth: A guy was arrested for owning a 4’9” sex doll. He’s a pervert.

Fact: Many adult-proportioned sex dolls are short in order to save weight. Sex dolls are heavy and it requires strength to move them. If you force the market to only offer large, heavy dolls, you discriminate against the physically disabled and strength-inhibited people.
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Myth: Owning a sex doll is the same as owning a human slave.

Fact 1: No, it’s not because only humans are human. Objects like sex dolls (or sex toys) are different. It is dehumanizing to assume a human is equal to an object.

Fact 2: No, it’s not because only humans are human. Only humans have human rights. Let’s not lower the status of humans to make them equal to objects.

Fact 3: No, it’s not because only humans are human. Humans have created different objects for thousands of years, so it’s a lie to pretend that objects are suddenly the same as human slaves.
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This list is not all of the anti-sexdoll myths you will encounter. These are not all the responses you could use either, but I hope they help you in your online discourse. Remember, nearly ALL of the articles written about sex dolls come from people OUTSIDE of the community. We need to make our voices heard.

Have you encountered any other common sex doll myths? Did list make you think of any other responses? Tell me in the comments.

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A fantastic post. Good work.

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Nicely written and full of good info. I like the idea of only responding to one myth at a time, I think that’s important. Another good thing to always remember is to stay calm. Stick to the facts and do not get into useless arguments with people online. Two people going off topic and throwing insults both look stupid. Keep your cool and don’t be afraid to walk away from a conversation if it turns ugly. Let the hateful and ignorant people prove you point for you by taking the high road. You are not going to change the minds of someone like that but your rational composure will speak volumes to passers by who might stop to read comments. Always carry yourself with dignity and compassion Strive to be someone your dolls would be proud of in all of your dealings.

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Certainly good points all of which I agree with. What empirical data do you have to support the “facts”?

There is very little research being done in the area of “sex doll” users and their behaviors, thoughts and intents. I have three studies I have conducted, one of which I am currently preparing for publication. There are other studies I have planned for the future. Please support more studies in this area and encourage “sex doll” users to participate in such studies so data can be provided to dispel myths.

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I know no one who believes in Superman. How’s that for a fact? Engaging with fiction as fiction is a common activity.

When I view a chair I like, it’s the chair I like. When I view a doll I like, it’s the doll I like. Representation is not a part of my decision making process. I don’t like a doll because of how someone looks. If a doll appeals to me, it’s the doll that appeals to me. I feel compelled to state tautological statements because of the twisted rhetoric I’ve encountered. I feel safe in stating that no one is more likely to view a person through the same lens as one views a doll than to expect for the doll to cook breakfast. I certainly won’t go equipped with a bottle brush and detergent in order to clean my mess on my next date.

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Ok DDelano, if you don’t like the word “facts” then use the word “response.” The point is this:
THERE. MUST. BE. A. RESPONSE.!

Look at what’s being written about the sex doll community and notice that 99% is from people outside of the community. And much of what they’re writing is either purposely misleading, or just plain mean. This is what we must respond to.

I wrote this topic for activists. My goal is to give them tools to help them engage the public AND THEN TAKE ACTION.

I’m trying not to sound harsh here, but we’ve already wasted far too much time at the The Doll Forum, and this forum must be different. Take a look at TDF and you will see posts representing hundreds and hundreds of man-hours arguing every little detail about this or that. Imagine if these people had spent that time
• Responding to anti-sexdoll articles on Facebook
• Engaging the public on Twitter
• Posting a new article on their sex doll blog
• Recording a new video or podcast about sex dolls
• Educating fellow activists about SEO to extend our reach
• Emailing a member of congress
• Writing a book

I’m sorry if I sound a bit rude, but I have to set the tone for this effort right up front. Activist are special, rare and few. We have precious little time each day we can spend on this effort. Let’s share some ideas on activism and then GET BACK OUT THERE AND FIGHT!

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Since DDelano mentions a publication, I’m curious about the publication. I assume DDelano is on our side. Activists on both sides keep claiming there’s a dearth of evidence. Unless people have evolved in less than a century, this work still holds. Berl Kutchinsky - Wikipedia

There hasn’t been research that debunks the findings of that research but, rather, subsequent research has only confirmed the findings of the Presidential Commission on Obscenity and Pornography.

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Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. One of my goals is to convince Sex Tech writers to stop ignoring us. Why?

  1. Sex dolls are a valid part of the Sex Tech industry and deserve inclusion
  2. We are the only segment of Sex Tech that faces both faulty laws and social stigma

Anyway, I’ve made these points in dozens of tweets over the past 3 months and I’ve used the #SexTech hashtag probably hundreds of times. Well today, the managing editor of “Future of Sex” finally started following me.

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I’m not congratulating myself here. It’s actually a bit of a failure because it took me THREE MONTHS. Imagine if just 10 of us had been posting these same tweets and using this hashtag and retweeting each other. We could have amplified our voices and made our community impossible to ignore.

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I agree with you 100%. You preach to the choir on TDF and even though the audience is receptive it’s getting them to take action that’s the problem. I’ve said on TDF and I’ll say it here, “For every negative story about “sex doll” owners there has to be 10 positive ones”.

Some of the public doesn’t care if you have dolls or if dolls get taken away from anyone. More attention needs to be to be focused on the positive aspects of having such a device as well as the many other uses for the products.

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I’m referring to my own research which I am preparing for publication. These studies will provide evidence of the benefits “sex dolls” (AFMs/IPA) provide for the user. This includes eliminating abusive tendencies.

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Yes! Excellent point about getting people to take action. I got a message yesterday from a guy who wants to get more involved, but he’s scared he’s going to get “outed” as a doll owner. So I’m working on a post on internet privacy that will cover email services, browsers, VPNs, social media, secondary phone numbers, etc.
It’s a huge subject so I’ll be asking the community for their input as well.

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I understand the concern he and others have. It’s more important to help these individuals to get over their fears. The media is giving attention to the negative side of these products. More people are accepting of them than many people realize. Let’s consider support groups for AFM (“sex doll”) uses for those that want to come out and be activists. This would include how to handle negative responses and reactions.

As mentioned before, it’s pointless to attempt to change ones mind if they are objecting to these devices and the device owners. Let’s stay focused on the positive and ignore the negative. Choose your battles wisely and don’t take things personally.

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The only person who can make a decision of whether they will commit a crime is the person in question. Banning everything in response to every moral panic is irresponsible and is unlikely to yield the results they want.

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It’s true. Lawmakers have unilaterally decided they have the ability to tell the future.

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When I addressed the Florida Judiciary committee about the CLD ban this past Jan. I said the law is a form of “Minority Report” type of justice, that didn’t sit well with them. I’m not sure if they even knew what I was talking about, haha!

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I can’t agree more with you. I’m running a sex doll shop, and at the very beginning, I was too shy to tell it to my family. But one day I realized that my sex dolls have helped many people enjoy a better life. They are not a shame! Of course, the young sex doll or child dolls are not available forever!

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Just curious Abby , why do you say the young and child like dolls are not be available forever? I would think that type of doll would be the most therapeutic for people with those desires so i hope you are wrong.

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I am a vendor as well. Because this forum is for addressing the doll bans and other doll related topics relevant to the work of Prostasia Foundation I choose not to use this platform as an advertising outlet because the issues are more important to me than sales. Although I am not a forum mod I suggest you refrain from advertising here to be respectful to the Prostasia Foundation for allowing us to discuss the issues and do so without distractions.

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Banning dolls has become a trend that’s about punishing for a perceived evil, completely disregarding the fact that a harmless activity that transpires within the confines of solitude cannot breach social boundaries. Prohibitionist attempt to justify by claiming an activity that’s deliberately private will lead to breaching social boundaries. Claiming that the shape of a sex toy will lead to abusive behavior is as extreme as claiming that viewing comic books will convince one to believe in superman. Claiming one will view a person through the same lens as one views a doll is as extreme as claiming one will eventually expect for a doll to eat breakfast.

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The normalize rhetoric relies on a claim that feeling an attraction can be evil. No one controls feeling an attraction more than one controls whether they like the smell of baking bread. As a species, we are attracted to shape. If a rock has an attractive shape, it is then the rock that is attracted to. There’s nothing wrong about finding a doll attractive. That means that any attraction that can be expressed through dolls is moral, safe and ethical. The prohibitionists rely on extremely dismissive narratives. The doll that has an attractive shape represents itself.

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