Ugh, I feel like a dick. This was a mistake. Did I go to far? Fuck man, I didn’t expect somebody to come at me all piss and vinegar like that! Some popular posts in that subreddit showed empathy for actual pedophiles, not just POCD. Guess that all dried up by the time I made my posts…
Why does MAPSupportClub even host these people? They’re a buncha jerks:
Yes, I’m being a whiny little bitch who got his ego bruised. What’s it to ya? Guess I shoulda stayed in my “safe space”, heh…
Well, your first mistake was trying anything on Reddit. I got banned twice on there just for saying that I like loli, remember? That being said, I think that’s the major difference between you and me. I don’t mind “feeling like a monster”.
That’s honestly the main reason why I stopped saying that I am attracted to little girls outside spaces like this.
I actually thoughts these days about doing an AMA, but honestly I don’t think it would be good.
A hard pill that I had to swallow is that people with 0 pedophilic urges will never understand pedophiles. At least not on a deeper level. The best thing you can do as a person who is into children is:
Talk with a therapist specialized on it. They will actually help you and you will actually gain something from it.
Stay on “pedo friendly” spaces like this.
Make few friends who support you despite your attraction.
Don’t search for answers from people with no pedophilic urges, search for answers from therapists or just use Google tbh. Let’s be honest, people with pedophilic urges don’t really understand how does it feels like. I would gain nothing by confessing my attraction on reddit, Twitter, Instagram and etc. That’s why I’ve created my bubble where I stay. I don’t really have any social media outside of YouTube and TikTok.
I also find interesting how the dude who responded to you quickly went from trying to help you to straight up telling you to kill yourself and that you will act on it. Sure, bro is traumatized from all the sexual abuse by his father but you honestly have nothing to do with it. You are not his father nor did you force his father to do what he did. Regardless of the situation, telling someone to kill themselves and straight up telling them that they will eventually rape someone (specially a group of people who are already are stigmatized and often question themselves if they are monsters) is evil. Whatever trauma he has I’m sorry that he went through that and i hope he heals, but again I have nothing to do with it. I can’t really see why you should have any sympathy with him after he was very clear that he wish you the worst.
Does that make anyone a monster? Then guess what? I am a monster. I am not ashamed nor should you.
Aye. The rational mind understands this. I wish the people on Reddit would understand this, instead of gaslighting me into believing otherwise, that I am inherently monstrous.
I know it. I am just talking about it in the sense that if I am monster for these people because I don’t have sympathy for people who want to hurt me, then I am a monster.
While several users DM’d me and were very rude and threatening to me, several other users were apologetic and defended me. So, my experience with r/POCD has certainly been a mixed bag.
Not that it matters anymore, my threatening suicide got me permanently banned. Ah well, at least that other fuckhead who started that whole argument with me also got suspended/banned, so I accept it. I’m fine with both of us getting the boot, cuz that guy was at least as douchy as I was. Threatening to murder me and telling me to kms and whatnot. So hey we’re even.
Still, I’m disappointed I never found the clarity/answers I was seeking. I really want to explore this idea, about pedophilic disorder and OCD comorbidity. I’m suddenly fascinated by this concept, but now I’m not certain where to go or who to ask…